This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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