one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
