I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
