do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
