How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
