What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
