does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
