I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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