I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
