i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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