So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
