I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
