So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
