Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
