Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize