if i can run in heels then i can drive
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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