I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
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I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
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I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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