do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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