thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
