Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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