Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
