4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
