i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize