Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
