just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
