Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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