he thought i was a dude.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
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I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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