I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
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She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
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No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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