i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
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