Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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