I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
