i think my tv is drunk
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
