bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
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