After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
