what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
