Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
