We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
