i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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