Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
