my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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