OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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