Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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