Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
this boner is exhausting
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
