Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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