We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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