I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
