no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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