I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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