my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
