She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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