CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You're earring is so big in my mouth
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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