"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
