that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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