Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
