I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
