Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize