I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
