just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize