I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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