I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize